Why Parent’s Fall Victim To PAS

Here at Ivan Zartz Attorneys we have been discussing Parental Alienation Syndrome: what is it? What occurs during cases of PAS? What parent is most likely to initiate derision and alienation between parent and child?

What we have been able to establish through previous posts is the following: PAS is the condition whereby a parent brainwashes a child/children in order for the child/children to denigrate the other parent. This occurs very often, and usually in cases of separated or divorced couples, as well as couples going through a case of child custody.

Today we ask this: why do parent’s brainwash their children and therefore bring about the causes of of a situation that is archetypal of PAS? I believe that PAS parents have become stuck in the first stage of child development, where survival skills are learned.

To them, having total control over their child is a life and death matter. Because they don’t understand how to please other people, any effort to do so always has strings attached. They don’t give; they only know how to take. They don’t play by the rules and are not likely to obey a court order.

Descriptions that are commonly used to describe severe cases of PAS are that the alienating parent is unable to “individuate” (a psychological term used when the person is unable to see the child as a separate human being from him or herself). They are often described as being “overly involved with the child” or “enmeshed”.

The parent may be diagnosed as narcissistic (self-centred), where they presume that they have a special entitlement to whatever they want. They think that there are rules in life, but only for other people, not for them.

Also, they may be called a sociopath, which means a person who has no moral conscience. These are people who are unable to have empathy or compassion for others. They are unable to see a situation from another person’s point of view, especially their child’s point of view. They don’t distinguish between telling the truth and lying in the way that others do.

In spite of admonitions from judges and mental health professionals to stop their alienation, they can’t. The prognosis for severely alienating parents is very poor. It is unlikely that they are able to “get it.” It is also unlikely that they will ever stop trying to perpetuate the alienation. This is a gut wrenching survival issue to them.

Now that we know how perpetrators of PAS operate, what are the legal resolutions for the problem of PAS? Further to R.A. Garners book an article written by Jayne A Major entitled “Parents who have successfully fought Parental Alienation Syndrome” Judges have been slow to place serious sanctions on the alienating parent.

If there is no threat of severe fines, jail time or sole custody to the targeted parent, the chances are remote that the out-of-control parent can be stopped. It usually takes a dramatic situation where court orders are broken to force the court to change primary custody. Often it is only a matter of time before alienating parents become desperate and their unstable mental health gets the better of them. People in an official position start to recognize the alienating parent as being out of line, and become supportive of the targeted parent in cases of child custody and divorce settlements.

If you require a child custody attorney, or you are interested in settling a child custody case, please contact Ivan Zartz Attorneys as soon as possible. Please remember that a minimum consultation fee of R1500 is required for an appointment.