Author Archives: Ivan Zartz

Here at Ivan Zartz Attorneys we have been discussing Parental Alienation Syndrome: what is it? What occurs during cases of PAS? What parent is most likely to initiate derision and alienation between parent and child?

What we have been able to establish through previous posts is the following: PAS is the condition whereby a parent brainwashes a child/children in order for the child/children to denigrate the other parent. This occurs very often, and usually in cases of separated or divorced couples, as well as couples going through a case of child custody.

Today we ask this: why do parent’s brainwash their children and therefore bring about the causes of of a situation that is archetypal of PAS? I believe that PAS parents have become stuck in the first stage of child development, where survival skills are learned.

To them, having total control over their child is a life and death matter. Because they don’t understand how to please other people, any effort to do so always has strings attached. They don’t give; they only know how to take. They don’t play by the rules and are not likely to obey a court order.

Descriptions that are commonly used to describe severe cases of PAS are that the alienating parent is unable to “individuate” (a psychological term used when the person is unable to see the child as a separate human being from him or herself). They are often described as being “overly involved with the child” or “enmeshed”.

The parent may be diagnosed as narcissistic (self-centred), where they presume that they have a special entitlement to whatever they want. They think that there are rules in life, but only for other people, not for them.

Also, they may be called a sociopath, which means a person who has no moral conscience. These are people who are unable to have empathy or compassion for others. They are unable to see a situation from another person’s point of view, especially their child’s point of view. They don’t distinguish between telling the truth and lying in the way that others do.

In spite of admonitions from judges and mental health professionals to stop their alienation, they can’t. The prognosis for severely alienating parents is very poor. It is unlikely that they are able to “get it.” It is also unlikely that they will ever stop trying to perpetuate the alienation. This is a gut wrenching survival issue to them.

Now that we know how perpetrators of PAS operate, what are the legal resolutions for the problem of PAS? Further to R.A. Garners book an article written by Jayne A Major entitled “Parents who have successfully fought Parental Alienation Syndrome” Judges have been slow to place serious sanctions on the alienating parent.

If there is no threat of severe fines, jail time or sole custody to the targeted parent, the chances are remote that the out-of-control parent can be stopped. It usually takes a dramatic situation where court orders are broken to force the court to change primary custody. Often it is only a matter of time before alienating parents become desperate and their unstable mental health gets the better of them. People in an official position start to recognize the alienating parent as being out of line, and become supportive of the targeted parent in cases of child custody and divorce settlements.

If you require a child custody attorney, or you are interested in settling a child custody case, please contact Ivan Zartz Attorneys as soon as possible. Please remember that a minimum consultation fee of R1500 is required for an appointment.

 

Parental Alienation Syndrome, or PAS, as discussed in an earlier post, is the brainwashing of a child by one of his/her parents to denigrate the other parent. This often happens in child custody disputes, or during cases of divorce.

To understand PAS it is important to discern the child’s role in the disorder that affects the whole family.

Gardner notes that the PAS is more than brainwashing or programming, because the child has to actually participate in the denigrating of the alienated parent. This is done in primarily the following eight ways: The child denigrates the alienated parent with foul language and severe oppositional behaviour. The child offers weak, absurd, or frivolous reasons for his or her anger. The child is sure of himself or herself and doesn’t demonstrate ambivalence, i.e. love and hate for the alienated parent, only hate. The child exhorts that he or she alone came up with ideas of denigration.

The “independent-thinker” phenomenon is where the child asserts that no one told him to do this. The child supports and feels a need to protect the alienating parent. The child does not demonstrate guilt over cruelty towards the alienated parent. The child uses borrowed scenarios, or vividly describes situations that he or she could not have experienced. Animosity is spread to the friends and/or extended family of the alienated parent. In severe cases of parent alienation, the child is utterly brain- washed against the alienated parent. The alienator can truthfully say that the child doesn’t want to spend any time with this parent, even though he or she has told him that he has to, it is a court order, etc. The alienator typically responds, “There isn’t anything that I can do about it. I’m not telling him that he can’t see you.”

Gardner’s statistics showed that the majority of PAS occurrences were initiated by mothers. Mothers have traditionally had primary custody of children (although before the 20th century it normally belonged to the father), and the mothers usually spend more time with the children. 

In order for a campaign of alienation to occur, one parent needs to have considerable time with the child. However, in recent years increasing numbers of fathers have started instigating PAS, since there are few legal sanctions for doing so.

I’ve seen several dramatic child custody cases where the father was the alienator. In one case, the father had no control over his obsession to trash the mother. Numerous professionals told him, including the mother, that he could have shared custody if he would be willing to follow the rules. He didn’t have the self-control to do this.

When he lost child custody because of his aberrant behaviour, he became a celebrity in the father’s rights movement and took his campaign into national circles. No one would know from hearing him speak about his situation that there was serious pathology going on (PAS) or how hard the professionals worked to stabilize it.

It is important that those involved in child custody cases and divorce settlements that they recognize if there is evidence that may be regarded as features of PAS.

If you require an attorney to help you settle a case of child custody then contact Ivan Zartz Attorneys today. Ivan Zartz Attorneys also specialize in matters involving surrogacy, debt collection, insolvency, sectional titles and dispute resolutions.