POINTERS FOR PARENTS
Ivan’s experience in child custody issues isn’t just professional – he has personally gone through these disputes and is one of the first fathers to obtain custody of a minor child. As someone who has first-hand experience of being inside the process, he has the unique ability to see both sides of the issue and is able to give clients the support, advice and legal assistance necessary to achieve a favourable result.
He and the team understand the legal processes you’re going through, the stress you are experiencing and the results that you want to achieve. By coming to this site, you have taken the first step to finding an attorney who is dedicated and driven to be with you every step of the way!
The Impact of Separation/Divorce on Children
Perhaps you have heard of parents “Nesting” while separated or divorcing? This is a concept discussed by Ann Buscho, PhD in the United States, but has relevance for us here in South Africa.
Nesting refers to a short term arrangement where parents continue to share the family home and take turns being “on duty” with their children. The children stay in the home full time, which gives them more time to adapt to other changes in the family. The parents may live in separate areas within the home or, more commonly, in another location when they are “off-duty.”
This is suitable for parents who are not in conflict with eachother and the goal is usually to provide a stable home for the children while the marital status is in flux. There are obviously advantages and disadvantages to such an arrangement, but in this instance, the focus remains on the child/children.
On the other hand, children who are caught in the middle of their parents’ conflict and divorce have worse personal outcomes than those whose parents prioritise a “child-centred divorce.” This means that youngsters of whatever age whose parents stay angry and hostile have more emotional and behaviour problems that last into adulthood.
What happens when children are caught in the middle? They feel like they are caught in a terrible tug-of-war and may feel the need to determine who is at fault, or what is “fair.” They may feel burdened by their parents’ emotions and not able to express their own, which could lead to regression, shutting down or acting out. Teens and young adult children of divorcing parents may try to get involved in the divorce process itself, in unhealthy ways, by trying to mediate, or judge, or advocate for particular outcomes. And this distracts them from focusing on their own lives in healthy ways.
Initial consultations are charged at R1500 excluding VAT. Thereafter should you wish to continue with the matter, a fee is discussed and agreed upon.